Thursday, August 25, 2011

planning to be a daddy... again

Today's post is a guest post by the hubby. I wanted to share this post with all of you before baby D was born but with his timing it didn't happen. Better late than never...right? I seem to be saying that a lot lately...

Now that I have been blessed with expecting a second child, I have been on the receiving end of a lot of questions. In the final days of wait, I thought I would write a post to share my reflections about the second time around compared to the first pregnancy, how it feels to be expecting my first son, and what was I thinking having two kids so close together (i.e. baby bunching)?

How does the second time around compare to the first pregnancy?
Compared to the first pregnancy, I am certainly less anxious this time around.  I have (likely unfounded) confidence that having been a parent to Little Miss L. makes me an expert. It also helps that I've watched my wife become a first class mom. The first go, I read several parenting books, combed the blogosphere and interrogated every parent I came across - I could not be prepared enough.  For pregnancy two, the extent of my prep work included skimming through one of the books I had previously read to refresh my memory.  I can only hope that our daily parenting practice with Little Miss L justifies my lax approach to what will surely be an equally life-altering event.

What it is like expecting my first son?
The stereotype is that men want sons and fear daughters. I fit this stereotype until about halfway through the first pregnancy when I had a vivid dream about how amazing my life would become as the father to a daughter.  Forgive the cliché, but since then, Little Miss L. has made that dream come true. When I learned that we were expecting a second child, I sincerely only cared about their health and did not have any gender preference... or so I thought. When we found out it was a boy, my initial reaction surprised me - it took me a little while to wrap my head around having a boy. With only days left, I'm now very excited to be expecting a son. Other than purchasing and painting all things blue and stocking up on pee-pee teepees, the fact that the baby is a "he" has had little impact on the preparations.

What was I thinking having two kids so close together? (i.e. baby bunching)
Sometimes I wonder what was going through our mind in deciding to have two children so close in age. This might sound contradictory to what I wrote above about my lax approach to this pregnancy, but I didn't say that pregnancy number two was without stress! Those following this blog know that we have gone though many changes as a family over the past year: we moved from another continent, purchased our first residence, and now... expecting a second child.  Although this seems and sometimes feels overwhelming, I take solace in the fact that we made the decision together and for what we feel are good reasons.

Having these questions and others thrown at me gave me further reason to prepare myself mentally in what is now the eleventh hour. Whether I'm comparing the two pregnancies, fathering a boy vs. a girl, or panicking about having two under two, one thing is certain... life is about to change.  I don't know exactly what the future holds for our young family, but I know I wouldn't want to go through this with anyone other than my loving wife.
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